Relationships 縁

En describes the concept of a relationship, from first meeting to last, and the bond that is developed therein.

En is also a word used in Buddhism, referring to the relationship that are created by the Buddha as he brings one person together with another .

There is a saying in Japanese that goes, " Even a chance encounter is preordained. "This means that all relationships are important and must be valued. The ideal is to treat each person with respect and make the utmost effort to maintain wa ( harmony ).

Unfortunately, in today's global business culture , there seems to be a trend towards treating relationships as less important . However, it is a fact that the Japanese continue to place a great deal of importance on relationships . Even in business , the tradition of en remains alive as people get to know each other better by eating and drinking together , and on occasion asking personal questions as well.

True Feelings and Being Diplomatic

Honne refers to the true feelings that are expressed by those who are " inside " the same group ,while tatemae is what is spoken for show or to be diplomatic.

For those who understand the Japanese style of communications, it is relatively easy to see the difference between what is honne and what is tatemae .

However, it is quite common for non- Japanese to hear what is tatemae and misunderstand is as honne, later being surprised when things don't turn out as they thought they would .

In order to get the true intent ( honne ) of a Japanese , one will be expected to become a member of his " Inside " group or go throuth someone who is inside the group . Above all elese, through this third party it is then important to take the person out to dinner and have a few drinks with him in order to get on friendly terms .

For the foreigner , understanding honne and tatemae may be one of the most challenging aspects of japanese communications.

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